The Struggle Is Real… For Real

I read my past posts and I cringe a little. I cringe because my posts seem so glossy and so happy, and this past week… Well, this past week has been a struggle to say the least. You see, in late April I decided to start weaning myself off of Zoloft. Not because I wanna act tough and be “strong,” (which is a load of crap anyway, because having a mental illness does not make one weak, let’s just get that common misconception straight) and not because I feel the need to prove how big my God is. He is big enough to do that on His own. I decided to slowly stop taking Zoloft because my husband and I want to have another baby.

Now that I mentioned that, I’ll answer your follow up questions. Yes, we are fully aware we already have 3 kids. Yes, we know we live in a 3 bedroom house. No, we do not plan on moving. Since when was it a requirement for every kid to have their own room? Oh sorry, I forgot, you were asking the questions. Ok, let’s continue. Yeah, here’s a tough question: If you’re so depressed why do you want to have another baby? Now, I can give you this long drawn out answer, but simply put: I love my kids more than I hate my depression. And y’all I already have a love for this baby that we haven’t even conceived yet. It’s crazy, and I can’t explain it, but that’s what happening right now.

So, I started by cutting my pill in half and just taking half a dose for a couple of weeks. I didn’t notice much of a difference, and still felt pretty darn good. Then I started taking a half does every other day. Again, still felt good. Then I started taking a half does every few days… and I started to get more irritable, but no depression yet, which was hopeful. I could live with irritability and just bathe in Balance and Citrus Bliss oil all day, right? Then I stopped taking my Zoloft. I refilled my ‘script, and then I came home and it just sat there for 2 weeks. I wasn’t really planning on the last day being the last day, but it was. This second week off the Zoloft has been a very difficult week. My emotions are all over the place. I cry at the drop of a hat. These familiar feelings that defy all the logic in my head are screaming at me. I hate these feelings… Mostly, I hate the nights. When it’s quiet and my mind is racing and I can’t get it to shut off. My mind reminds me of all these perceived “failures” that are too ridiculous to write down. I mean, really, if I didn’t get something done that was on my To-Do List it turns into me being the worst wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend/fill in the blank. I’m telling you, it’s ridiculous. My brain thrives off of facts and structure and logic. In almost any other circumstance, I push feelings aside and simply look at the facts. But right not my feelings are on freakin’ overload and screaming at me and silencing my facts loving brain…

I don’t really have a way to end this post, but I can tell you I feel much better after writing all this down. So there we have it. There are my struggles, not really solved, but acknowledged.

Mother’s Day Giveaway!

Today I am going to introduce to you my favorite essential oil blend from my trusted company: Grounding blend. Just thinking about it makes me relax in my chair. The Grounding Blend is a blend of spruce needle/leaf, ho wood, frankincense, blue tansy flower, and blue chamomile flower essential oils in a base of coconut oil. It’s got the nice woodsy, sweet smell to it that makes you want to breathe it in for days.

I use this oil every single day. I put it in my diffuser (along with a citrus oil) and it has helped my mid-afternoon grumpiness craziness I am prone to. Also, it’s already diluted with coconut oil so if one of my kidos is having a meltdown I can pour a drop in my hand and rub it right on their feet or chest. So between myself and my boys (remember 4 years old and under here) we go through about a bottle a minute! Just kidding… but you get the point; it’s that amazing!

From my own personal experience I can honestly say this has helped me recover after the birth of my children as well as keep my anxious feelings at bay. I can start to feel when I’m getting stressed, and mentally as well as physically I start to get tense; so I’ll grab my bottle and put some of the Grounding Blend on my feet, or even just smell the bottle and it calms me down.

This oil, in my opinion, is a must have for every mom. Remember, you can email me at info@amandagerber.com to get the oils in your home, but what I’m doing today is a Mother’s Day Giveaway. I want to give away a bottle of this amazing blend to a deserving mom. So, what do I need from you? Leave a comment below of a mom you would like to nominate to win this bottle and why they should win (go ahead and brag on them! Let them know they are loved!). This will be open today through Friday (May 8, 2015) ending at 11:59PM. I will announce the winner on Saturday.

Share below and she could be the lucky winner!

DISCLAIMER: This information is not regulated by the FDA and is not intended to cure or treat disease. It is for informational purposes only. I am just a mom, not a doctor, sharing my experience with essential oils and how they’ve helped my family.